Question

近年來，隨著私家車的增加，城市交通越來越擁擠。在中、小學生上學或放學時，校門口以及學校附近擁擠問題更加嚴重。這給學生、教師、家長和其他市民帶來許多不便。尤其值得注意的是，學校附近的交通堵塞也存在不可忽略的隱患。為此，這引起了不少民眾的擔憂。你作為一名在校學生，署名張小明，根據以下要點寫一封英語信，向本校英語報投稿
1. 為什么要寫這封英語信。
2. 你們學校門口及附近交通擁擠的原因。
3. 提出二至三條建議。
注意：詞數120左右。開頭部分已給，不計入總詞數。
Dear Editor,
I’m Zhang Xiaoming, a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss …
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                

Answer 1

Dear Editor,
I’m Zhang Xiaoming, a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss the traffic problem near our school gate.
With so many parents coming to pick up their children, traffic jams are frequent near the school gate, causing much inconvenience to us students as well as our teachers and passers-by. Many people have been worrying about the hidden traffic problems. So I strongly recommend some effective and urgent measures be taken. First, we should encourage students to ride their bicycles or walk to school by themselves instead of taking cars, which will not only help reduce the jam but benefit students’ health as well. It is also a good idea to allow junior students to leave school 10 minutes earlier than others. Besides, cars should not be allowed to park near the school gate.
I do hope my suggestions can be considered and the problem can be solved soon.
Yours, 
Zhang Xiaoming

試題分析：本題是常見的書信類作文。作文要求就私家車帶來的交通擁擠和存在的安全隱患寫一封信。作文必須包含所給要點：寫這封信的原因；校門口交通擁擠的原因；提出建議。注意1. 開門見山地點明所要闡述的內容。2. 分析不同的觀點：可采用分類式或對比式，并闡明理由。要注意層次清楚條理清晰。3. 歸納總結或發表評論�？忌�在寫作之前必修認真審題，首先要注意文章的時態。不能根據材料逐字逐句的翻譯應該注意句子的銜接，以提高作文的檔次。注意書信的格式要正確，使用第一人稱進行寫作。不要出現拼寫、標點錯誤；注意時態和語法知識的正確運用。
【亮點說明】范文注意使用First, Besides來表示列舉，顯得條理清晰；范文使用了一些重要的語法知識：with復合結構With so many parents coming to pick up their children；非謂語動詞causing much inconvenience to us；現在完成進行時Many people have been worrying about...；虛擬語氣So I strongly recommend some effective and urgent measures be taken.；定語從句which will not only help reduce the jam but benefit students’ health等，巧妙地運用了非謂語動詞、定語從句等語法知識，構思巧妙，句式多樣，提升了作文的檔次；范文還使用了一些固定短語：pick up；as well as；instead of；take measures；not only...but also；as well等，是作文內容充實；范文還使用助動詞do表示強調(I do hope...)，加強了語氣，表明了作者解決交通隱患的堅定立場。